


Now We Carry On

by FearthePrettyPeople



Series: Winter's Rebirth [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Bucky Barnes Returns, Bucky Barnes-centric, Bucky is confused cause people don't hate him, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Supportive Avengers are Supportive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-13
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-07-23 19:42:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 16,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7477359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FearthePrettyPeople/pseuds/FearthePrettyPeople
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky has been woken from cryofreeze. He interacts with different members of the Avengers to come to terms with his past and decide his future. Post CACW.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Longing

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the way the words were placed and a couple of filler characters I threw in.

He remembered. For a few moments when he was waking up, he felt the emptiness as always- then, something different. He recognized the faces immediately. Slowly, he remembered the staff members of the base where T’Challa had agreed to keep him hidden. He remembered Steve being there when he went under and he remembered all the things that had happened before. The running, the fighting, the years spent on his own trying to remember. He remembered his arm getting torn off. Relief flooded him, washing away the emptiness, slowing his heartbeat and breathing. 

“Hello, Mr. Barnes,” greeted a slender man in a white coat. “I’m Dr. Rodriguez. We met shortly before you went under. Just relax for now. We’d hoped you’d stay out a few minutes more to avoid the discomfort of warming to the room. Captain Rogers told us you were injected with a serum not dissimilar he was but we are unfamiliar with the dosages of anesthetic for someone like yourself.” The other staff members moved around Bucky, readying medical equipment.

“I’m used…to it,” Bucky told him, his voice breaking from disuse. “And I’ve felt worse.”

Dr. Rodriguez gave him a sympathetic smile and continued. “We are going to take your readings then you’ll be able to get up and move.” While the other doctors moved around him, Bucky watched Dr. Rodriguez move to the other side of the room to talk to a man in what looked like military uniform. The man nodded, glanced quickly at Bucky, took a note that Dr. Rodriguez handed him, turned, and left. Bucky was suddenly aware that he did not know why he was awake.

When Dr. Rodriguez had returned, he led Bucky out of the room and down a long hallway. Bucky’s uneasiness at why he was now awake, and why Steve was nowhere around, grew, but the staff were kind and he didn’t feel any immediate threat. Dr. Rodriguez opened another door and motioned for him to enter. Bucky walked into a decent-sized examination room with another door across from him. A table in the corner held a pitcher of water, hot tea, coffee, and a plate of food. 

“I’ve sent word to the King that you are awake. You have a visitor waiting to see you. They are still being cleared by security but will be here in fifteen minutes or so, I imagine. Please help yourself to anything on the table. There is a small restroom through there,” he pointed to the other door, “a few amenities have been placed there and you are welcome to use them, also. If you have need of anything else, you can come back the way we came and you will find someone.”

Slightly overwhelmed, Bucky managed to thank Dr. Rodriguez who then started to leave. “Dr. Rodriguez?” Bucky asked quickly.

“Yes?”

“Who’s here? Is it Captain Rogers?”

“I do not think so. I did not see him on my way in.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

Dr. Rodriguez nodded to him and left, shutting the door behind him.

~~~~

He sat on the examination table and waited. His body still held the stiffness it always did when he awoke from cryofreeze. He had a headache and his eyes felt odd in their sockets. He barely registered the old feelings now, having experienced them so often now. 

He had started to drink some water, but just before the glass reached his lips something in him made him stop. It was so easy to poison someone’s food or drink. It hadn’t been his style while he was acting as the Winter Soldier but he’d seen it done plenty of times. He wanted to drink the water so badly but he’d sat the glass back down and waited to see what had warranted his awakening.

From his seat, he stared at that glass of water and felt the dryness in his throat. He wished they hadn’t taken him out of cryofreeze. He hadn’t wanted to be brought out anytime soon and had held a small hope inside him that he’d be left there forever. He wasn’t safe. He hadn’t been safe in a long time. Flashes of memory from when he and Steve still lived in Brooklyn, still scattered and incomplete presented themselves to him. The last time he’d felt safety- before the war. He remembered picking up Steve’s shield, being hit by a hard blast, hanging off the train, Steve reaching down for him, fear running through him, the piece of metal breaking away, then the fall through the cold and the white- the last time he’d been safe from himself.

The memories rushed through his mind fast and hard making his heart pound. There were memories he’d recognized-written down in journals-new memories that appeared that felt like déjà vu, and they all left him light-headed, a cold sweat breaking out on his forehead. 

Bucky closed his eyes, tucking his chin toward his chest, and took long, deep breaths. The memories still came and he picked one to concentrate on. He was moving through snow-covered woods. Twenty yards to his left was Falsworth, and twenty yards to his right was Steve. The rest of the Howling Commandos were spread throughout the forest, each within eyesight of one or two others. A standard tactic they’d used for moving through woodland many times now. They moved carefully hoping to circumvent the nearby enemy camp unseen. A quick movement from Falsworth halted Bucky. He turned his attention to him. Dum Dum had spotted the camp. They needed to move to the north. Bucky turned to relay the message to Steve, who turned to Jim, and so on. This was how they worked- with trust, familiarity, and just enough insanity to be willing to creep around a German camp, through an unfamiliar forest, in the middle of the winter. 

When Bucky opened his eyes, he felt a little unhappy that he was still in the examination room. As dangerous as the war had been, he’d known what he was fighting for, who he was fighting beside, and had made his own decisions. The regret he felt for the time he’d spent since then often overshadowed the stability he’d felt, even in a war. During the war, he’d have given anything to be back in Brooklyn, the fighting done. Now, he’d gladly trade all the atrocities he’d committed as the Winter Soldier to go back to simply being Sergeant Barnes. 

A quick knock on the door pulled Bucky from his thoughts. He barely had time to turn toward the noise before the door opened. Coming into the room was the same uniformed man he’d seen talking to Dr. Rodriguez, a similarly dressed woman, and Tony Stark.


	2. Rusted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I only own the story and a few side characters.

“Mr. Barnes.”

Bucky froze as Tony Stark entered the room a few steps and stopped. They stared at each other for a few moments and Bucky could almost see the discomfort growing in the two soldiers who accompanied Tony in, though it did not show on either of their faces.

“What?” Tony broke the silence. “Not happy to see me?”

“What are you doing here?”

Tony lifted a case he’d been carrying that Bucky hadn’t noticed before. “Special delivery.”

“Are you here to kill me?” Both of the soldiers behind Tony tensed, each let a hand twitch toward the guns at their sides, stopping short of actually grasping them.

Tony saw them move out of the corner of his eyes. “Don’t worry, I’m playing nice like His Highness insisted.” He turned back to Bucky. “No, I’m not. Are you going to try to kill me?”

“No,” Bucky answered, less tense but still weary.

“Good. That’s settled, then. No deaths today.” Tony smirked and turned to the soldiers again. “See? Easy peasy.”

“What are you doing here?” Bucky asked again. “What’s in the case?”

Tony walked toward Bucky and Bucky stood quickly from the examination table and moved away. 

“Thank you,” Tony said, lifting the case onto the table and undoing the fastenings. “I told you. Special delivery.” Tony lifted the lid and Bucky saw the case contained a metal arm. “This is my own design. It may need some tweaking. You’ll have to try it out and tell me what works and what doesn’t. It’s not like I could try it out on myself while I was making it.”

Bucky thought of all the questions that he had for Tony Stark. The same Tony Stark who’d been trying to take him out, possibly kill him the last time they’d met. He settled on the most important one: “Why?”  
“Because you’ve been down in the ice long enough. Time to get out in the sun and wreck some havoc, possibly for the good now.”

“I can’t,” Bucky shook his head and moved away. “It’s too dangerous for me to be out there. People still know how to hijack my brain. It’s not a good idea to attach another arm to me or let me out of here.”

“Oh, we’ve thought of that,” Tony said, closing the case. “There’s someone waiting back where you’re going to help unscramble that messy part of your brain. With any luck, couple of days, you’ll be deprogrammed or, at least, on your way to it.”

“Why, though?” Bucky, couldn’t for the life of him understand why Tony was here and acting, if not friendly, downright civil. “Why are you here?”

“Because we need to talk. Steve was supposed to be here, also, to welcome you back to the land of the conscious and play mediator, but I may have left without him. It’s my helicopter, after all, and he should know better.”

“What do we need to talk about?” Bucky asked, tired of the wordy workaround Tony was giving him.

Tony turned to the soldiers. “Can we have a few minutes? Just, I don’t know, be threatening just outside the door. A semblance of privacy. I’m shy.”

They both walked out of the room leaving the door open a couple of inches.

“Such jokers. Didn’t stop gabbing the whole way here.”

Bucky didn’t speak or move.

“I want to call a truce.” Tony finally said. His words were clipped as if being forced out against his will. He paused for a moment then turned to face Bucky fully. “Look, I don’t like you. You killed my parents. You caused a friend to turn against me. You killed so many people, I can’t even find records on all of them.”

Bucky tried to relax his jaw and failed. “Why the truce, then?”

“Because Steve, while not a genius such as myself, is the best judge of moral character I’ve ever met and when you’re you, he trusts you.” A pained look came across Tony’s face. “My judgement of people and my actions aren’t particularly admirable. I used to manufacture weapons. The most advanced in the world. Then I found out that they were being used to kill innocent people and were being used against us.”

Tony walked over to the table and poured himself a cup of coffee and took a sip. “That’s not the last bad decision I’ve made and it probably won’t be the last, but I try to correct my mistakes.”

Bucky hadn’t moved during Tony’s speech, only continued to watch him, wondering when Tony would get to the point he was trying to make.

“I looked through your file. All of it. My parents....” Tony set down the coffee. “I looked into the methods they used to brainwash you, to wipe your memory.” Tony walked back to Bucky and Bucky didn’t move this time. They stood a foot apart and Bucky waited. “When I made my bad decisions, I was acting for what I thought was best. Making weapons, making Ultron, wanting to register…us. You were not. You weren’t even you. I asked you if you remembered my parents and I didn’t care to hear your answer at the time, but I remember it. You remember all of them. I know it makes me a hypocrite but you killed my parents and I cannot be buddy-buddy with you after that. Not now. Maybe not ever. I’m not ready to dish out forgiveness for what happened to my parents, but I know now that you’re not the one who deserves my anger. Our anger is aimed at the same people. It took a lot of time, and a lot of arguing with Steve about things that, frankly, had nothing to do with you, but I’m ready to admit that.”

Bucky tried to swallow and failed. He’d had so many questions for Tony Stark when he’d seen him but now he didn’t know what to say. He still remembered the confusion and fear in Howard’s face that night. He remembered not recognizing his old friend. He remembered killing Howard and then killing his wife. It was one of the many, many events that he couldn’t forget and couldn’t forgive himself for.

“So,” Tony continued, stepping away. “I made this arm. If you’re going to train with everyone, you can’t be waddling off-kilter with just one arm.” Tony refastened the case. “Have you touched anything on that table?”

“No,” Bucky admitted. “I thought it might be poisoned.”

Tony nodded. “Well, I’m still alive. At least drink something. You sound like a baritone Kermit the Frog. I’m gonna go down to the workroom and find the rest of the tools I brought to attach this thing to you. I’m sure one of the strong, silent type out there will bring you through when you’re ready.”

With that, Tony picked up the case and walked out the door, giving a greeting to the soldiers still outside.

Bucky walked to the table, picked up the glass of water he’d abandoned earlier, and, with only a slight hesitation, drank.

~~~~

“How’s that?” Tony asked, setting the screwdriver down. “I studied your other arm to make this one. My own improvements added in, of course. Nothing in it should be sentient, though, so there’s that.”

Bucky flexed the new fingers, straightened and bent the arm. He picked up a metal casing and crushed it in his new hand. “You kept the strength. And it’s silent.”

Tony shrugged. “That whirring mechanical noise? Yeah, that was annoying. This one’s smoother. Silent. It’s also stronger and lighter. You’re welcome.” He started to pack up his tools. 

“Why did you make it this powerful? You could have made it more like a regular arm.” Bucky still felt slightly wrong-footed by everything that had happened since he’d been brought back and this new arm was not helping. 

“I’ve fought you, Ice Capades. That arm was impressive but hardly the only thing that made you dangerous. By the way, T’Challa wants a word with you before you leave, but you’ll be getting out of here this evening, heading to see your new family.”

“I’m not going with you?” Bucky asked.

“No,” Tony said. “The Avengers, while better, are still shaky. We’re regrouping. I’ll be heading back to my tower; you’ll be going to a safe house to meet up with The Cap and some of the others before coming out to our new super-top-secret base. We’ll all meet up there. Someone else is here to escort you.”

“Who?” Bucky asked, his interest piqued.

“That’s a surprise. I grabbed her while I ditched Steve. Put in a good word for me with the Capsicle, would you? He was a little huffy on the phone.” He picked up his tools and nodded to the door. Bucky turned to see King T’Challa walking up the hall.

“See you in a couple weeks, Capades.” Tony started to leave and Bucky looked down at his new arm.

“Stark?” Bucky called. Tony turned. “Thank you. And I know it doesn’t mean much, but I’m sorry.”

Tony nodded. “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! Reviews appreciated.


	3. Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story and a couple filler characters.

As Bucky watched Tony and King T’Challa shared their words of parting, it was hard for him to decide who was more relieved to see the back of the other. Tony walked down the hallway quickly without sparing another glance backward and the two soldiers followed him.

Bucky noted that no guard remained with the King, though he knew better than to think he’d need one.

“How are you feeling, Sergeant Barnes?” T’Challa asked, approaching him.

Bucky wasn’t sure how to answer. ‘Fine’ was not truthful and T’Challa would know it, but he also didn’t want to say how he actually felt. 

“I’m not sure yet, Your Majesty,” he settled for. “But I am grateful for all you’ve done.”

T’Challa smiled. “You are the first outsider to address me with the title of a king. Most call me ‘Your Highness’. I suppose I could have corrected them but they never meant anything by it, and it didn’t seem overly important; not to mention, I was used to it at the time. How did you know to say it?”

Falsworth’s grinning face flashed into Bucky’s mind. “Old friend from England. Don’t know why it came up but one night at a pub he drank enough to regale me about rulers. He always called Kings and Queen by ‘Majesty’ and I couldn’t keep the others straight. I’m pretty sure I learned more about King George the 6th than I ever needed to know.”

“Your memory continues to return, then?”

Bucky nodded. “Yeah.”

“You’ll be glad to have your journals back, then.”

“They were confiscated when I was arrested.” Bucky shook his head. “Who knows where they are now.”

“No,” T’Challa corrected him. “They’re here. We obtained them for you. Strictly speaking, no one knows you’ve been woken up, or even that you were here to begin with.” T’Challa started out of the room and Bucky understood that he was meant to follow. “I’ve kept them guessing as to what side I was on in your concern and made it clear that the journals might contain information needed in Zemo’s trial. They were compelled to hand them over to me. Zemo was convicted, by the way.”

“That was fast. Not that it shouldn’t have been but...,” something occurred to Bucky. “How long was I under?”

“Just under a year and a half,” said T’Challa. “Seventeen months. It’s 2017 now. Something tells me you’re used to that change.”

“A bit,” Bucky said, quietly. “Huh, I was born in 1917. Guess I’m 100 years old now.”

“Happy centennial, Sergeant Barnes.” T’Challa smiled widely. “You look good for your age!”

Bucky barely kept from rolling his eyes and wondered at how easily he and T’Challa were able to get along.

Bucky was not expecting it when they entered the hangar from the hallway. In front of them was a huge jet that was just finishing being prepped; around it moved many soldiers and airmen.

“One of Stark’s,” T’Challa informed Bucky. “In a rare act of humility, he left his name off of it.” They shared a tight smile and just for a moment the image of Howard Stark—black hair, ridiculous mustache, and suspenders—appeared to Bucky and his smile softened a bit. Then he remembered Howard as he’d last seen him—white-haired, on his knees, confused to see his old friend alive and pointing a gun at him—and his smile fell.

“This is the jet you will be heading out on. Your travelling companion did not want to hassle my security so she stayed on board to wait for you.” He motioned to a man at his side who approached with Bucky’s pack. 

Bucky took the pack, relief flooding through him. “Thank you for this. This means….” 

“We did not look through the journals. I’m sure the others did but we did not. I hope we will never have reason to regret that decision.”

Bucky met T’Challa’s eye. “I hope to never give you reason to. Thank you for everything you’ve done to help me. I’m not worth it.”

“I attacked you for the death of my father, and it was not your fault. If I were the only one hunting you, I may have taken your life. Not to mention, you were a prisoner of war for seventy years and used against your will. Anyone who had been through that alone would deserve this protection. Your own government refused to give it so I did.” T’Challa held out his hand and Bucky shook it. “I’m sure we’ll meet again, Sergeant. Take care of yourself.”

“You, too, Your Majesty.” They exchanged one last look and T’Challa turned and walked back the way they’d come in taking several of the men with him.

Bucky heard him call back with a chuckle in his voice, “Good luck with Nguyen.”

Bucky looked back toward the jet wondering where he was supposed to board when a young woman approached. “Mr. Barnes, my name is Connie Nguyen, I’m one of the pilots. If you’ll follow me, I’ll take you aboard.” She turned walked back toward the jet quickly and Bucky followed. As if she knew he would, she began talking again, rattling off details in the most apathetic voice Bucky’d ever heard. “We’ll be leaving in ten minutes and the flight will last fifteen hours. No, you may not know the destination. Yes, you may use any of the amenities on board. Captain Rogers, I believe, ordered some clothes to be stocked for you so you’ll be able to change if you want. There are flight attendants on board who will bring pretty much anything you ask for, screw with them and I will stop caring about that arm of yours long enough to put my boot up your ass, don’t think I won’t.”

Bucky stopped. “I wouldn’t… do that.”

“Just a warning I give to everyone, Barnes. You’re not special. Now move. I said ten minutes and I meant it. This bird is getting in the air and we’re to make sure you’re on it.” She started up the steps and Bucky followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy!


	4. Daybreak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Just the Story and a few side characters are mine. Nothing else.

Bucky stood in the middle of the cabin he’d been guided into in the jet. He’d been expecting more of a bare layout with a few seats, and was surprised to find sofas, a booth, a television, and what looked like a small kitchen. He remembered mention of someone he’d be travelling with but saw no sign of anyone else besides a coffee mug on the booth table. He felt a rumble as the engines turned on and moved to one of the sofas to wait. He sat his pack next to him, sliding his arm through one of the straps, just in case, and waited. 

Waking up as the Winter Soldier had been easier in one respect—there was never a lot to think about. He was woken, programmed, and sent out on assignment. It was neat and clean and the Asset never had to worry about anything but his target. 

This time, Bucky was tired. He’d been woken only three hours before and hadn’t stopped talking to people and remembering since then. His body felt ready to go but his mind was exhausted and the headache he’d had was getting worse. Leaning forward, he placed his head in his hands to wait for whoever ‘she’ was to return.

~~~~~

Bucky stood in the middle of the wreckage as ashes fell, the fire of the explosion still burning around him. He looked down at his chest and saw his jacket, soaked with blood. He tried to remember when he’d gotten hurt. He didn’t feel any pain.

Not his blood.

He walked through the detritus and red hair caught his eye. He approached it, turning over the woman’s body. Natalia’s green eyes stared past him, no longer able to see.

Twenty feet away, pieces of metal stuck up awkwardly from the ground. He ran over and found Sam Wilson, dead.

Bucky heard a rattling, gasping breath and looked just past Sam to see Steve, charred, mangled, and staring at Bucky with fear before finally exhaling for the last time.

“We did it.”

Bucky stood quickly, horror building in his gut as he looked down at his friend. A pair of familiar boots stepped into his vision and his eyes travelled up the body until he was looking at himself. No smile. Vacant eyes. The Winter Soldier.

“We proved them wrong.” He vanished in a burst of smoke.

“I told them.” 

Bucky turned to see Tony Stark in one of his suits, visor raised. Enraged but triumphant. “I told them not to trust you. I was right. You ended them all.”

“I…” Bucky tried to talk. His eyes felt hot and he looked away from Tony. His eyes landed on Wanda Maximoff. Her chest full of bullet holes she hadn’t been able to stop. Looking down at his metal hand he saw it clutched a gun. “I didn’t mean…”

“Of course you didn’t. But you just can’t be trusted.” Tony raised one of his hands and sent a blast of energy at him.

Bucky’s eyes flashed open and he jumped back. He was in the jet. He looked down at his pack to make sure it was still there then looked around the cabin. Wanda Maximoff was sitting at the booth, a book open in front of her. No light came in through the window beside her.

The Wanda sitting across from him temporarily flashed and melded with the Wanda who lay lifeless, full of bullet holes before Bucky could clear his mind enough to realize he’d been dreaming.

“I would have woken you but anyone who is tired enough to sleep while sitting is someone who needs the sleep. You woke quickly, though. What were you dreaming of?”

“How do you know I was dreaming?”

“Educated guess.”

“You don’t want to know.” Bucky leaned back on the sofa. “Why are you the one to come?”

“I wasn’t supposed to. Stark called me with very little notice and asked me to travel to Wakanda to meet you. I had expected to meet you when you woke but I do not know why I had to travel all this way.” She closed the book she had been reading. “Perhaps Stark knew that you’d need someone to talk to since he denied Steve the trip and knew he would not be returning with you.”

Bucky didn’t doubt that Tony Stark would not want him alone on one of his aircrafts with only his crew. “Why did you come?”

“You deserved a friendly face. And if Stark is willing to ask anything of me now, it must be important.”

“You’re not afraid of being on this jet with me?” Bucky had seen Wanda in action and knew she was powerful. The first time he’d seen her pick someone up and toss them simply using the power she manipulated made him intensely relieved to not have to fight her. That was saying something.

“We have fought on the same side, Mr. Barnes. There is no one near to trigger you. Why would I be afraid?”

Frustration welled up inside of Bucky. “Is everyone just going to be so damn forgiving of everything I’ve done?” he nearly yelled. His hands balled into fists so hard he thought he might pull muscles in his flesh hand.

Wanda stood and moved to sit beside him. She stared at him so hard that he finally had to turn and face her.

“Yes,” she finally said. “We will be.”

Bucky sighed and started to move away from her but she placed a hand on his metal arm, and he stopped and waited. 

“Tony forgives you, for the same reason I forgave Tony,” she said.

“He locked you up and put you in a strait jacket. Not exactly the same as murdering dozens of people.”

“I am not talking about that, Mr. Barnes.” Wanda’s eyes glazed over, remembering. “I’m talking about before. Before this,” She clarified, removing her hand from Bucky’s arm and calling on a ball of energy. “Years ago, my city was attacked. They used weapons Stark had designed. My brother and I lost our family that day. We carried so much anger and hatred for Tony Stark. We wanted revenge and that want led us to what we became.”

Bucky couldn’t take his eyes off of Wanda now. Bucky wanted to say something but knew she wasn’t done.

“Our anger was misplaced. Stark did not attack my family. Others used his technology to do it. It was easy to hate Stark but it was right to forgive the part he played. He never would have wanted innocent people hurt.” Bucky saw her eyes refocus and land on him again. “Whatever Tony Stark might be or do, he tries to be good. Because of who he is, I don’t think he’s ever really had anyone to pull him back, to tell him not to do something, until the Avengers came along. He still has a hard time taking other people’s advice.”

Wanda smiled a little. “After fighting alongside you and seeing how Steve wanted to defend you, I looked up your file.”

Bucky swallowed hard. “I’m sure you found a lot worth saving,” he said, sarcastically.

“I did not want information on the Winter Soldier. I wanted information on Sergeant James Barnes. I went to see some government officials, and I convinced them to give me what I wanted. I read many things about James Buchanan Barnes, the Howling Commando, the soldier in the war, the best friend of Captain America, the man who fought for what was right, the people he killed, and the people he saved. I understood why Steve wanted to help that man.”

“I’m not him anymore,” Bucky insisted. 

“But you were him, and you are no longer the Winter Soldier, either.”

Even though he knew she was right, Bucky could not bring himself to agree with her out loud. “Do you think that was why Tony sent you to go back with me? Because he knew they were similar situations.”

Wanda shrugged. “I do not know. Perhaps he wanted to give us some time to talk before I delved into your mind.”

Bucky went cold. “Convinced them to give you information? You couldn’t have threatened them and walked away.”

Wanda gave him a slightly baffled look. “I planted the idea in their minds. They wanted nothing more than to make sure I got those files.”

They stared at each other for a moment, and then Wanda cursed. “He didn’t tell you.”

“He sure didn’t.”

“I can manipulate the mind. I don’t like to do it. Not unless I can’t avoid it or it’s absolutely necessary. Getting your file was an exception.”

“Manipulate the mind.”

“Yes,” Wanda explained slowly. “I will be the one to, for lack of a better word, disable the trigger words.”

“You’re going to control me?” Bucky could hear the fear in his own voice but couldn’t bother to feel ashamed of it.

“No,” Wanda assured him. “I’m simply going to visit inside your head long enough to make sure no one else can control you.”

For the first time since he’d woken up, Bucky felt a little bit of hope start to form in him. 

“You think you can do that? How sure are you?”

Wanda smirked. “I’m certain, Mr. Barnes. I don’t fail.”

“Look, if you’re going to climb into my brain, I think you can call me Bucky.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Thank you to everyone who's left kudos on my story so far!


	5. Furnace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I only own the storyline and a few filler characters.

As soon as Bucky’s feet hit soil, he saw another familiar face walking toward him from the large house near the strip the jet had landed on.

“Bout time you two arrived. We were starting to think that Tony’d done something then lied about it.” Clint Barton walked toward Bucky as Wanda joined him. “Welcome to home for the next couple of weeks.”

“Where are the others?” Wanda asked. In answer, they heard several shots fired in quick succession near the field behind the house. “Never mind,” she said as she walked away from them. Bucky turned back to Clint. 

“Come on over here.” Bucky followed Clint away from the rundown pavement as the jet started to taxi toward the end of the makeshift runway to prepare to take off again. “So how was your sleep? You feeling rested?”

Bucky shrugged, looking around. “Are you allowed to tell me where we are?”

“Oh, yeah,” Clint said, watching the jet. “We’re in Ohio. Great place to hide out. What’s in Ohio, you ask? Nothing. They have corn, that’s pretty much it. Well, actually they have some soy but it’s the corn that really stands out. Did you know there’s a town here called Knockemstiff? Honest to God.”

Clint turned to walk back to the house and Bucky followed him, slinging his pack over a shoulder. “Tony says he played nice. Did he?”

“Nicer than I had expected when I saw him show up,” Bucky said. 

“I had a thoroughly unpleasant conversation with Tony a few months after you went under. He’d have been a hypocrite if he hadn’t forgiven you.” 

“He hasn’t forgiven me,” Bucky told him. “He just said that I’m not the one who deserves the blame anymore. Which is the same, I guess. And he did mention being a hypocrite.”

They stepped up to the door of the house and went in. “Yeah, well, it would have been not only hypocritical but insane of Tony to forgive me and not you.”

This threw Bucky. He barely looked at the house. All of his attention was on the archer beside him who was looking through a stack of papers on the table beside the door. “Wait.” Bucky held up a hand toward Clint. “What are you talking about?”

Clint looked at Bucky in confusion. “Well, the whole ‘mind control and murder’ thing isn’t exactly new around here. Thor’s brother, Loki, took control of me several years back and I did some terrible things under his influence. You probably didn’t see him trying to take control of Stuttgart. You’d have still been busy being a murder-bot.”

Now thoroughly confused, Bucky dropped his pack for a moment. “Who the hell is Thor? And why the hell is he named after a Norse god. And Loki?”

“He is the Norse god. Loki, too. They’re real. Well, not necessarily gods, they just live a long time and are incredibly strong and Loki can play tricks and Thor can call thunder and he has that damn hammer that no one but him can use.”

“I’m sorry,” Bucky said, tired and wondering why Clint was bullshitting him. “So you’re saying Gods walk among us?”

“Well, no.” Clint clarified. “They’re from a different realm. They travel through space to come here.”

Bucky spoke slowly. “Are you telling me that they’re aliens? Did Loki mate with a horse, too?”

Clint shrugged. “Wouldn’t put it past him.” He motioned for Bucky to pick up his pack again and started walking down a hallway. “The point is, is that when Loki showed up, he took control of my mind. Most terrifying shit I’ve ever been through and, let me tell you, I have experience. I knew everything I was doing and I was powerless to stop it. I was trapped inside my mind and it felt like I was burning with rage at everything I could not do. I was suffocating even while my body continued to breathe.” He turned to find Bucky had stopped a few feet back.

“Did you kill?” Bucky asked. Clint stared at Bucky long enough for the former Winter Soldier to see the pain and regret pass over his face before falling behind a mask and the mask nodded ‘yes’. 

“I did.”

“How did you come back?” Bucky asked. He wanted to ask Clint more questions. It was the first time he’d met someone else who’d been taken over and made to do deplorable things and lived to try to be the good guy again.

“Tasha hit me really hard in the head,” Clint said, smiling a little. “Pro tip: try not to get to the point where she has to hit you because you will end up with a concussion.” Clint saw Bucky’s face drop. “Look, not a one of us has bloodless hands. The closest would be Steve and his went slightly Section 8 trying to save you. The point is: we all got a second chance. We all are getting the chance to atone for mistakes we made in the past. Some of us made mistakes willingly and some of us unwillingly, it doesn’t matter. Do you want to be better now?”

“Yes,” Bucky answered quickly, his voice breaking.

“Then that’s all there is to it.”

“I doubt any of you have as much blood on their hands as I do.” Bucky forced out.

“I think Tasha would disagree with you on that,” Clint stated.

Bucky sucked in air as images flashed through his mind. Natasha Romanoff running from him in the street, fighting him, lying dead in the rubble in his dream. Then a young woman, dancing, learning how to kill. Learning how to fire guns. Learning how to choke the life out of someone. Standing with her in the red room, correcting her technique. Those memories he couldn’t quite hold onto.

“Maybe.”

Clint turned and took a few more steps, opening a door. “This is you.”

Bucky walked into the room. There were windows overlooking the foothills and forests past the fields of dying corn. There was a bed between two of the windows, a dresser on the opposite wall, an armchair in a corner, and a couple of tables next to the bed and chair. It was a calming wash of blues and browns and was probably the most welcoming place he’d ever seen save for the times he remembered back at home and at Steve’s old house in Brooklyn. Bucky heard familiar footsteps coming up the hallway and stop just outside the door.

“Hey, Buck.”

Bucky turned and gave a short nod of the head. “Steve.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	6. Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I only own the story.

“How was the ride over?” Steve asked, with his hands in his pockets. He would have looked cocky had it not been for the small smile. Somewhere in him, Bucky remembered that Steve used to put his hands in his pockets when he was unsure of himself. It stood out to him because ‘unsure’ was not a word often used to describe Steve Rogers, even when they were growing up.

“It was okay,” Bucky replied. “Wanda was a nice surprise.”

“Speaking of,” Clint said, pushing off the wall he’d been leaning on. “I need to get down to the field. We’re doing some training today before, well, yeah. Did you two sleep at all on the flight?”

Bucky nodded. “She slept.”

“Well, then. Bucky, welcome. If you need anything, just ask.” Clint and Bucky exchanged nods and Clint headed back down the hallway.

Steve and Bucky stood silently for a moment before Steve broke the silence. “You ever wonder exactly what it is you’re supposed to be asking for when people say that?”

Bucky grinned. “Yeah, always.”

Steve finally entered the room and pulled his hands out of his pockets. “Sorry for not being around when you came out. Tony’s a bit… Tony.”

“He told me. I’ll live.” Bucky shrugged. There was a small amount of something like confusion between them. It’d been a long time since they’d spent any amount of time near each other when a fight was not eminent. 

“So, these are the types of places you guys hide out?” Bucky asked.

“Every once in a while.” Steve said. “It changes up a lot. Actually, you don’t even know everyone who’d here, and there is someone you need to meet.”

“Who’s that?” Bucky asked, wondering which of them he’d not met or fought yet.

Steve started walking out of the room and Bucky followed. “Let’s just say that you’ll need to meet him before you’ll believe me.” Steve turned to smile at Bucky and Bucky knew what it meant immediately. Either Steve was incredibly smug about something clever he’d done or he knew Bucky was going to be thrown by what was coming up.

Steve approached and knocked on an already open door. “He’s here.”

“Is he with you?” Bucky heard a strong, accented voice ask. 

“Yep.”

As soon as he could see into the room, Bucky eyes landed on a massive blond man. 

“Bucky, this is Thor. Thor, this is Bucky Barnes.”

Bucky looked up into Thor’s smiling face. The man was about a head taller than himself and powerful looking. Bucky shook Thor’s hand when he offered it and realized he hadn’t actually believed that Thor was real no matter what Clint had told him. Bucky realized meeting Thor should put him on edge, but it didn’t. Instead, he felt relieved that stranger things than him could happen, and, while it was hard to be intimidated by the friendly face Steve had introduced him to, this was another person he wouldn’t be thrilled to meet in combat. Bucky remembered that the Winter Soldier wouldn’t have cared.

“It is good to meet you, Mr. Barnes. How were your travels?”

“Good to meet you. They were good.” Then Bucky said, reflexively, “You can call me Bucky.”

A ping sounded and Steve pulled a phone out of his pocket and looked at the screen. “We’re in the same house and he still sends a text message.” Steve rolled his eyes and walked out. “I’ll be right back, guys.”

“So,” Bucky began. “You’re not from around here. How does that work? If I’m not being rude.”

“No, no,” Thor insisted. “There are nine realms: Vanaheim, Alfheim, Jotunheim, Svartalfheim…”

“Gesundheit,” Bucky said quickly, without thinking about it.

Thor smiled again. “And so on. This world, your world, is Midgard. I am from Asgard.”

“Barton said you travel through space? Are they different planets?” Bucky asked.

“Yes, but not in the way you think of it. They are different worlds entirely. If you’re interested, I can explain it to you sometime.”

“And is your brother Loki here or in Asgard?”

Thor’s smile fell. “Loki is dead.”

“Oh,” Bucky didn’t know where to look. “I’m sorry?”

Thor smiled a little and moved to sit down in one of the chairs in the room, motioning for Bucky to sit in the other. “I assume Barton told you about Loki?” Bucky nodded and Thor continued. “Loki was rash, angry, and full of trickery. His misguided actions put many in danger both in my home and here. However, he was my brother, we played together when we were children, and fought together as adults, even in the end. I would have continued to try to help him find his way if he’d lived. He did die honorably. I mourned and continue to mourn his passing because he was not always bad, and I remember the good. Can you understand that?”

Bucky nodded. “You have to do what you can for family. For those you have left.”

“Yes,” Thor agreed. “It’s why Steve helped you, and why you would help Steve.”

“And Steve trusting me is enough for the rest of you. I’ve been told.” Bucky was suddenly frustrated again. “Steve was my best friend, I trust him like no one else, always have. Why do you?”

Thor stood and walked over to the far corner of the room. Resting on the nightstand beside the bed was a giant hammer which Thor picked up and brought over to Bucky. He set it down in front of him on the floor. “Pick it up.”

“I’m sorry?” 

“Pick it up,” Thor insisted.

“I wasn’t insulting Steve, or any of you. That wasn’t…”

“I know. Pick it up.”

With a sign, Bucky put his right hand on the handle of the hammer and pulled. When it wouldn’t budge, he looked down, surprised. Switching to his metal arm, he tried again, but with the same result. “This is the hammer Barton said only you could lift?”

“Yes. This is Mjolnir.” Thor reached for the hammer and picked it up with ease. “Only those worthy of ruling Asgard can lift it. There was a time when I could not, until I learned what it took. You must be worthy to lift Mjolnir.”

“Did you really think the Winter Soldier could lift it?” Bucky asked, clenching his jaw.

“No.” Thor stated. “But Steve has moved it. At a victory celebration, the others tried to pick it up, they all failed. When Steve tried, though, he almost succeeded. I know, eventually, he will be able to lift it. That is why I trust Steve’s judgement.”

“What you are is normal, though. What I am… What am I supposed to do in this world now? I’m one hundred years old, I should be dead. What I am is not natural.”

“All of us are unnatural in our own way. Luckily, you’ve landed in a pile of misfits. You’ll find where you belong. Perhaps you’ll even find a woman.”

“I leave you alone for ten minutes and you’re playing matchmaker?” A bewildered Steve stood in the doorway. Bucky couldn’t help but feel the conversation had just taken an odd turn.

“What’s the trouble with that?” Thor asked. Steve started to reply, but Thor held up a hand, stopping him. “Do not repeat what you told Natasha about not being able to find someone with ‘shared life experience.’ Jane and I are quite different but we manage to hold our partnership perfectly well.

“Jane?” Bucky asked. 

“Yes.” Thor smiled. “She’s a brilliant astrophysicist. Very determined and hardworking and kind.” Thor looked almost wistful. “We met when she hit me with her van.”

Bucky blinked. “She ran over you?”

Thor nodded. “Yes. Twice. But, you see, I have lived for over a thousand of your years and grew up in another world entirely. What matter can seventy years make.”

Steve clapped his hands. “Well, I hate to change the subject but I just ran into Banner. Wanda said she would like to try in a few hours if it’s okay with you, Buck.”

“If she can do it, then yeah. The sooner the better.” Bucky paused. “Banner? Bruce Banner? The one who turns green and…big?”

“Yep,” Steve confirmed. “He wants to look you over before she starts.”

“Is he there for backup?” Bucky asked. 

Thor picked up his hammer. “We’re all there for backup.”

“We won’t let you hurt anyone, Buck.” Steve assured him. “Not even yourself.”

Bucky raised his eyebrows. “That’s actually pretty comforting.”

Steve smiled. “If all goes as planned, you’ll never be the Winter Soldier again.”


	7. Benign

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I only own the story. Nothing else.

The room Bucky and Steve walked into was filled with computers running processes that Bucky could not make sense of. Every few seconds, a printer in the corner would spit out a new page of block text. Bucky took in everything, wondering what kinds of studies happened in the middle of a cornfield.

Steve had a look of confusion as he glanced around the room. "Dr. Banner?" he called.

Bucky heard a voice which he assumed was Bruce Banner call for them to wait just a minute and couldn't help but think of how comical it was that the person who possessed such a passive voice could morph into such an impassive creature. Moments later, Bruce himself stepped out of a small closet area in the far wall of the room. "Sorry," he apologized. "I'm developing a few pictures of some completed processes from earlier in the week. I had to finish storing them before opening the door."

"Printed film?" Steve asked. "Isn't that a bit low-tech for you now?"

Bruce smiled. "We're blocking all signals and wireless activity, but not loading the results onto a device of any sort is a time-consuming precaution I'm willing to take. Before coming here, few people knew what I am working on but that's a few too many."

"I understand."

Bruce approached Bucky, who'd been eyeing him quietly and extended his hand. "Bruce Banner. You're James Barnes."

Bucky accepted the handshake. "You're not what I expected, Dr. Banner," he replied. "And you can call me Bucky."

"Likewise, Bucky. Call me Bruce." Bruce turned to Steve. "Cap, could you give us a few moments? Maybe go get the others?" Steve glanced between Bruce and Bucky. "Wanda isn't even here yet. Nothing will happen if you're not here."

"Okay, I'll be back in a few." Steve gave in unwillingly, and his discomfort as he left fed Bucky's own uneasiness as he was once again left with someone he didn't know.

"What did you expect me to be like," Bruce asked once they couldn't hear Steve's footsteps anymore.

"I don't know," Bucky answered honestly. "Maybe someone more aggressive, loud…"

"Green?" Bruce asked.

"I didn't hear much about the outside world while I was under Hydra's control, but there were some combatants I was told not to engage in the field should they show up. Not many of those existed, but one of them was always up on list in more recent years: Bruce Banner, Alias-Hulk. When I was off the grid, I saw footage from a few of your exploits; it made an impact."

"Yeah, the other guy does that," Bruce confirmed. He motioned for Bucky to sit down on a makeshift examination table near some medical equipment. "Take off your shirt if you don't mind. Did they ever tell you how he came about?"

"No, just to avoid interaction."

"I was trying to perfect a serum," Bruce said, setting up an EKG. "A serum, actually, that a form of which was used on both you and Steve. Obviously, the serum was more successful on you, and only really worked on Steve. I, however, miscalculated. I thought it was ready; I was wrong. Now, I make a mistake, I lose control, my life is threatened by anyone? Out he comes. Saves my life while torturing me, all at the same time."

"He can't be killed?" Bucky asked.

"Not so far."

"So, that's it? You get angry, lose control, and go on a rampage? That can't be it. You work with the Avengers."

"Such as they are. I'm learning to work with him," Bruce admitted. "If I ask him to come, he's not as volatile as usual. Learning to keep calm and not let the panic overtake me has been the biggest issue. And living with what happens."

Bucky felt his heartbeat pick up. Living with your actions was not a new concept to him. "Do you remember what happens?"

"Sometimes. I call him the other guy because something completely different inside me takes over, but one of the hardest things I've had to learn is that that other guy is just another part of me."

"I know that feeling."

"I know you do."

Bruce finished setting up wires and attaching and sterilizing nodules to the ends of the wires, and they were silent for a few minutes.

"Why wasn't I what you expected," Bucky asked after a moment.

"Well," Bruce said. "You're not nearly as threatening as I expected you to be."

"Did you think the Hulk would sense a threat?"

"No," Bruce smiled. "But I did expect someone more aggressive."

Bucky knew that Bruce was possibly the only person he'd talked to who really understood the moral consequences of acting outside of your own control, but he somehow couldn't find the words to ask him about his own experiences. Bucky could barely stand to be in his own body after thinking about the things he'd done, and felt shame when he realized all these people had probably read his files and knew about those actions, too. He wanted to ask Bruce how he dealt with it, but couldn't bring himself to do it. He settled for a less direct approach. "Do you ever think," he asked, staring ahead at the blank wall across the room, "that we shouldn't be walking around? Even if we didn't mean what we did. We're still dangerous. Should we really be free? Why shouldn't we be locked up?"

Bruce didn't say anything at first and started attaching the EKG to Bucky. They both turned towards the door as they heard footsteps and voices approaching. "Yes," he said, finally. "But what prison could hold us?"

Steve and Wanda came in first followed by Thor and Natasha. Bucky's eyes lingered on the Black Widow a moment and she nodded quickly at him, her expression neutral. His attention was torn from her when Wanda started speaking.

"Are we ready, Doctor?"

"As far as I'm concerned, yes," Bruce replied, attaching the final wire from another machine to the back of Bucky's neck. "These are just to monitor your reaction," he explained to Bucky. "They won't do anything to stop you, but they'll give us a heads up if you start to react badly and can't tell us. It's in your best interest to remain as calm as you possibly can unless you'd like to meet the other guy up close and personal. I'm going to stand back from you a bit, but accidents do happen."

"Great," Bucky croaked out, his mouth going dry.

"Are you ready, Bucky?" Wanda asked.

"I had better be."

Wanda stepped up to him and Steve leaned out the door to tell whoever was out there that they were starting.

"This shouldn't hurt," Wanda assured him. "I can find the memories easily enough without you thinking of them so try to think of something comforting instead, hmm?"

"Yeah, sure, I'll just think of baby bunnies or something," Bucky joked. He received a small smile from Wanda who began to lift her hand to his head. The last thing he saw was her eyes and suddenly he was back in the chair, a Hydra agent in front of him. The man was talking, his mouth was moving in the familiar shapes of the words used to trigger the Winter Soldier but there was no sound coming from the mouth. There was static. He felt fear. He did not want to be here. He struggled against the restraints but they weren't there. He remembered what was going on and he relaxed his arms which had nearly tried to grip the person in front of him. He'd only barely remembered that it wasn't actually a member of Hydra in front of him. The man started mouthing the words again and the static became louder and Bucky could feel sweat building up on his forehead. The man finished the sequence a second time and a light flashed in front of Bucky's eyes. Slowly, Wanda came back into focus.

Bucky's heart was racing and he could see Bruce looking worriedly at the readings on his machine. Wanda looked at him with concern. "What did you see?" She asked.

"Bunnies," he replied. "Is that it?"

"Yes," she confirmed. His heartbeat was slowing down and his breathing was returning to normal. Bruce pulled off all of the nodes he'd attached.

"How do we know if it worked?" Bucky asked.

Natasha stepped forward, a piece of paper clutched in her hand at her side. "желание." Longing.

Bucky stood from the table and began backing away. "That's not a good idea."

Natasha continued toward him. "ржaвый." Rusted.

Steve started forward but Thor held onto him and Bruce moved in front of him. "Not yet. Give him a minute," Steve insisted.

"It's better to get it over with now, with all of us here," Thor insisted, placing a hand on the man's chest to hold him in place.

"Семнадцать." Natasha continued. Seventeen.

Bucky stared into her green eyes as she continued and panic overtook him, but not because of the words she was saying.

"Рассвет." Daybreak.

"They will easily break out of your grip if you are not close enough to them, Natalia." He moved in closer to her. "You must use the closeness for strength and leverage. Feel the difference?" She nodded. "Try again." The red-headed girl, his favorite student, smiled at him and moved away to start the technique over.

"Печь." Furnace.

"Do you ever remember who you were before?" Natalia asked him.

"Sometimes," he replied. "But never for long."

"How long do you think they will keep you unfrozen for this time?"

The Winter Soldier gave her a rare smile. She was always so full of questions. "Both long enough and not long enough." He handed her the reloaded gun. "Now, try again."

"Девять." Nine.

"Do you ever regret what they make you do?" she asked.

"I don't regret. I perform the mission."

"You do regret. I can see it in your eyes."

"добросердечный." Benign.

"They will perform your ceremony soon. I heard them talking about it," he told her. She looked scared but resolved. "I'm sorry."

"It's what happens to all of the girls, is it not?" She replied. "I'll survive."

He touched her hand for a moment. His Natalia. So strong and determined.

"возвращение на родину." Homecoming.

For a moment, Bucky could see her in front of him, her stern expression showing no recognition.

"Один." One.

"I think they know. They've moved up the time for me to be put back in the chamber."

"How would they know?" She asked, panicked. "We've been careful."

"It's never careful enough for them," he held her face in his flesh hand. "They won't hurt you. You're too valuable to them. They'll think I've just been out of the chamber too long. It's been years and years after all."

"But you won't forget me. You'll remember me." It wasn't begging, it was a statement of fact. It was her misplaced faith in him.

"грузовой вагон." Freightcar.

The Winter Soldier stared through the scope at his target and his target's escort. For the first time something in him didn't want him to pull the trigger. She'd seen him, though, and he had orders. She moved in front of his target as he squeezed the trigger. The bullet went through her stomach and out her back, hitting the target who'd been crouching behind her after tripping. The mission was completed.

He spared one last look at the woman and noticed the startled look on her face and just barely heard the word she called to him. "Soldier?"

Bucky's vision slammed back into place and he was once again in the makeshift medical room. Natasha stood in front of him. He was shaking and sweating but he was still Bucky, and he remembered.

"Natalia?" he spoke. Her eyes lit up in surprise. He quickly continued in rapid Russian. "I'm sorry. I forgot. You were so sure I'd remember."

Thor and Steve looked questioningly at Bruce and Wanda. "What's going on," Steve asked.

"It worked," Wanda replied. "But the impact of the words may have been blocking some other memories. I could see them while I was in his mind, but I did not pry. He may be remembering."

Bucky took a few deep breaths and switched back to English. "I'm sorry, Natalia."

Natasha smiled at him for the first time since she'd entered the room. "Well, damn. It's about time you remembered me. You'll break a girl's heart that way."

Silence greeted her words and she added, "And just so you know, I tend to go by Natasha now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not speak Russian or write Cyrillic so I apologize if any of it is wrong. I cobbled stuff together from the internet... as you do.


	8. Homecoming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I only own the story.
> 
> I would like to clarify that I am a Gold Star WinterWidow fan and that's where I'm going with this story and the sequel if I decide to write it. I will 100% ignore the Bruce/Natasha WTF-ery.

Bucky’s head was beginning to throb again. Natasha continued looking at him for a few moments more before straightening her back. Turning she asked, “Anything else you need to do, doc? Wanda?”

Bruce shrugged and shook his head, but Wanda moved forward quietly and touched the side of Bucky’s head. She stared into his eyes. “I’m sorry. Sometimes I forget what pain our own memories can bring.” The pain in Bucky’s head lessened then disappeared almost entirely, leaving only a dull ache which was easy to ignore.

“Thanks,” he said to Wanda.

Natasha smiled at Wanda who returned the smile then turned to leave. “I’m sure I’ll see you both later.”

“I want coffee. Do you want coffee?” She was looking at Bucky again. She gently took his hand and started to pull him from the room. Steve moved to go with them and Natasha held up a hand to him. “Not you, Cap.”

Leaving the room, Bucky nearly smacked into Clint, and could see Wanda moving quickly down the hallway with someone…thing red and metal?

“Doing good?” Clint asked quickly, bringing Bucky’s focus back.

“Yeah,” Bucky replied. “I think so.”

“Good. You can start training soon.” With that, Clint gave him a slap on the shoulder and left.

Turning in the direction Natasha pulled him, Bucky felt both happy and a little wary to see Sam Wilson.

“Old man.”

“Pigeon.”

Bucky continued following Natasha down the hallways. Remembering her had taken over all of his thoughts and the realization of what happened suddenly and forcefully occurred to him. He was free. The words couldn’t be used against him anymore. Everything in his body felt light. His arm wasn’t such a burden to worry about. He was almost dizzy with relief. 

When Natasha let go of his hand, Bucky saw that they were standing in a neat, clean kitchen. She opened cabinets and gathered what she needed for the coffee.

“You actually meant coffee?”

Natasha smiled at him and a flash of her, younger but still with that smile, flashed in his mind. “What did you think I meant?”

“I thought it was just an excuse to get away from the others to talk. It’s almost evening.”

“It was,” she confirmed. “But I also want coffee. It’s never too late for coffee.” 

Bucky couldn’t stop looking at her. Natalia, his Natalia, was alive, safe, and no longer under the control of her owners. 

The pot of coffee was filled to halfway before either broke the silence.

“Do you remember everything?”

“I think so.” Bucky’s memories about the Red Room were clear and almost startlingly vibrant. “That was the longest they’d ever kept me out of cryo. To train their best student. I don’t think anything would have made them take the risk otherwise.”

“You were a good teacher,” Natasha said, gently. “I’ve kept your training with me all this time.”

Bucky’s chest tightened at her words. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I helped them make you.”

“They didn’t make who I am now. Don’t apologize. The skills you taught me have kept me alive. And I help people now. I got to where I needed to be, and so did you.” Natasha’s face broke into a wide grin. “Besides, it certainly didn’t go the way they wanted. They knew, too. I overheard so much sneaking around that place. By the time you were back under, all they could talk about was how much of a mistake it was to leave someone with such a strong mind out for so long. Even with no one around to trigger your memories.” Her brow creased. “How did you start remembering? Do you think it was just because of all the years you spent out of the box, training me?” Natasha poured two cups of coffee and handed one to him, motioning that they should sit down at the table.

“You were the trigger.”

Natasha shook her head. “How did I trigger your memories? We’d never met before that.”

“You didn’t,” he said, slowly. “You triggered my humanity. By the time they realized what was happening between us, and they knew they needed to put me back under, I was willing to fight.”

“So, it wasn’t just wishful thinking on the part of a silly girl?” Natasha teased him, hoping to keep the mood light and not let them get sucked back into the violence and all-encompassing horror of what the Red Room really was.

“You were never silly, Natalia.” Bucky said, giving her a soft smile. “And by the time I knew you—remembered you—you were hardly a girl anymore for what they’d…I’d… made you do.”

“It was always them,” she said. The tone of her voice let Bucky know that she didn’t want to hear any more of his believed complaisance. “You fought back?” she asked.

He nodded and took a drink of the coffee. “When I realized they were going to put me back in the box, I tried to run. I wanted to find you and get us out of there. They were ready, though. They shot me with a tranquilizer and a team met me on my way out. It took a bit for the tranq to work and I fought them, trying to get away. Some of them I killed, but some of them I just…broke. I think that’s when they understood. I wanted to hurt them, and I knew how to do it without killing them. I was pulling away from my training. I was angry.”

“I stayed for a while after that. I thought I could wait until they woke you up again and try to make you remember. I hoped they’d wake you up for years, but they never did. I found out they were going to keep you under unless they needed you for a mission, and, even then, they wouldn’t keep you out for long. I had decided to run. That’s when Clint found me. He helped me get out, and I joined shield. Then they moved you, and I didn’t know where to find you again. Most people didn’t even believe that you existed.”

Bucky gestured to her stomach. “And then I shot you.”

Unexpectedly, Natasha smiled. “Yes. But you didn’t kill me, and that would have been easier.”

“Not to mention the other times we met; when you were helping Steve.”

She shrugged. “That was just old friends catching up.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and couldn’t help but smile, too. “I still remembered you. I didn’t know why I knew you, but I knew I shouldn’t kill you. After that time we spent together, I never tried to kill anyone they didn’t specifically tell me to ever again. I wasn’t particularly careful of collateral damage, but I never pulled the trigger for a kill unless they had ordered it. My own small, nearly insignificant way of fighting back.”

“It worked.” Natasha moved her hand so that her fingers gently rested over his.

Soft footsteps entered the room, but neither of them moved. “Everything okay here?” Steve asked. “I mean, since I wasn’t invited for coffee?” Steve playfully glared at Natasha, who quirked an eyebrow at him. “That was real subtle, by the way.”

“Can it, Rogers.” She pulled her hand away from Bucky’s and he wished she hadn’t. “Did Clint send you?”

“Yeah, you know how fussy he gets before bedtime.”

Natasha explained to Bucky. “We spar every evening. He can’t seem to sleep without a Rock-a-bye Asskicking.”

Clint’s voice came from down the hall. “I just have too much energy! If you’d rather I lurked around the house all night or rebuild the busted sofa in the living room I can do that. Hammering all night and all.”

“Coming!” Natasha called before turning to Bucky again. “See you in the morning.” She set her cup in the sink as Steve poured himself a cup of coffee. Before she left, she leaned in close to Bucky to whisper, “I’m glad you’re back.” With that, she quickly left the room, calling again to Clint.

“Huh.” Grunted Steve, taking a drink of his coffee.

Bucky turned to his old friend. “Huh, what?”

Steve shrugged. Bucky saw that bullshit innocent look on his friend’s face that he could recognize anywhere. “Maybe you can find someone with shared life experience.”

Bucky felt the familiarity of their friendship at that comment. “What are you saying?”

“I said nothing,” Steve replied, throwing his hands up.

Bucky replied without even thinking, raising an eyebrow. “Then why is your mouth still moving?”

Steve gestured toward the table. “It’s just, the hands and…”

Bucky grinned. “You’re still a punk. Just by the way, I’d like to point out that you are still wearing a flag as your outfit.”

Steve smiled back. “You’re still a jerk.”


	9. One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I only own the story. 
> 
> Since the last chapter and this chapter are both relatively short, (and it's been a bit since I posted Benign) I'm posting them both today!

“So, is all of your memory back?” Steve asked.

“No, not all of it.” Bucky shook his head. “But it’s coming back faster. I remember more from the war than from home. The violent stuff comes back faster.”

“But at least you have more to remember than just your time as the Winter Soldier.”

“Those memories are pretty far away, though. I don’t trust them yet.”

“I do. But I remember everything. It’s good to have you back. You’re the only one I’ve got left.”

“You don’t have that guy back, though. He’s gone. He fell from a train, lost his arm, and had his mind emptied.” The time that Bucky had spent under Hydra’s control weighed heavy on him and, as much fun as it’d been to joke with Steve, he couldn’t help but feel that it was all just an act. “The Bucky you grew up with doesn’t exist anymore except as a memory.”

Steve set his coffee cup down hard on the counter. “Bullshit. You’re right here Bucky.”

“I am not the same.” Bucky stated.

“Neither am I,” Steve said, his voice hardening. “I’m still the same guy who’ll pick a fight in a back alley, but the kid who went to war in hopes of going back to Brooklyn and starting a happy life, settling down? That person is gone. He spent seven decades under the ice and then came back to everything being changed. The rest of my friends were dying of old age. Peggy…” Steve’s voice caught. “Bruce made a stupid mistake, shot himself full of the wrong kind of serum. Changed his entire life. He didn’t stop working in science because of it.” Steve sat down in one of the chairs at the table. “Wanda was just a kid who had a normal family until their city was attacked. She and her brother were experimented on, too. Then she lost her brother. No more normal for her.”

Bucky didn’t have any memories of Steve being this frustrated and actually showing it. The only thing he knew to do was let him finish.

“You should hear Thor’s stories from his youth, though I use that term loosely. ‘Loose cannon’ could be used to describe him. There was a time when he couldn’t even lift his own damn hammer. You’re familiar with the crap Stark’s pulled, and Sam…,” Steve let out a humorless laugh. “Sometime you should ask Sam what he did before joining up.”

Steve stood and walked over to Bucky. “We can’t forget Natasha. Do you really think she’s still the same person you trained? You really think what happened to her didn’t change her?” Steve deflated before Bucky and carried on with less bite. “No one stays the same. Everyone changes. Everyone here, on this team, has had terrible things happen to them. They’ve picked themselves up and they carry on. They don’t do it because of what happened to them, but because of who they are. You will, too.”

Steve took a step back and put his hands on his hips. “You’re right. You’re not the Bucky I knew in Brooklyn; the Bucky I fought with in the war wasn’t the Bucky I knew in Brooklyn. But you broke free from Hydra, you got away, and you didn’t hurt anyone else; you tried to pull your life back together. That wasn’t the Winter Soldier. The Winter Soldier was what was left after they stripped the real Bucky away, left the skill, and learned how to control it. That part of you was always there, but the part of you that chooses how it’s used is back. That’s the Bucky I remember. He’s just been through some stuff.”

Bucky saw the difference in Steve now. His friend was definitely more care-worn than he’d been, even during the war. He did a good job of covering it up, but Bucky could see that he was tired. He also very clearly saw the Back-Alley Hero he remembered from childhood, he just didn’t need saving anymore. He was still Steve, but different. He cleared his throat. “So,” he started. “What do we do now? Was this all an invitation to join you guys?”

Steve shrugged. “We’ve already discussed it. Everyone’s agreed that you’re welcome here. You can join up, or just stay until you’re ready to move on. Up to you.”

“I wondered what Barton was talking about with the training.”

“Yeah, he just kinda assumes and goes with it. I’m hoping you choose to join. I’m sure Natasha would be happy if you did.” Bucky glanced at Steve and realized that he wasn’t actually trying to tease him this time. He was being sincere.

“And what do the two of us do now? Go to a baseball game, or something?”

“Well, no one in their right mind says no to baseball. We’ll have to find a team to support, though.”

Bucky shook his head, “What do you mean? We’re from Brooklyn, we’re Dodgers fans.”

Steve’s face fell. 

“Buck, I’ve got something to tell you, and it’s gonna be hard to hear.” Steve placed a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “The Dodgers left Brooklyn in 1957.” With that, Bucky’s heart sank.


	10. Freight Car

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story.

When Bucky’s eyes opened, the gunfire and dripping blood held in his memory for a moment before the surprise of waking to a white ceiling in a bright room pushed them out. All of the events of the previous day flooded into his mind, but for once the memories didn’t cause a headache. No, what was most likely to give Bucky a headache was the loud, monotonous tone pervading the room. He looked to the nightstand and didn’t see an alarm clock, which didn’t surprise him much since he hadn’t set an alarm clock. He sat up and was greeted with the sight of Sam standing at the foot of his bed, holding a small object that was obviously creating the noise. 

Bucky sighed. “I dislike you greatly,” he yelled over the beeps. 

Same held up one finger as if to tell him to wait a moment. He fiddled with a nob on the side of the device, making it go mercifully silent. Then, pocketing whatever it was, he finally pulled out the earplugs he’d been wearing.

“I was asked to see if you were awake. Couldn’t help myself.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and stood from the bed. “Been planning that?”

“Nah, I’m just a cranky morning person. Steve is so relentlessly upbeat in the mornings it’s sickening. Makes me even crankier until I’ve had more coffee.”

Bucky groaned. “Oh, hell. I’d forgotten about that.” They looked at each other awkwardly for a moment. “I mean, I forgot that, also. Along with other things.” 

Sam couldn’t help himself and started laughing. Bucky shook his head and smiled reluctantly.

“You know, Barnes, I’m almost happy to see you again.”

“It’s almost good to see you, too.”

“Right, well, breakfast isn’t quite ready yet. Bruce and Wanda wanna double-check your lingo filter real quick. If you wanna go ahead and change, I’m gonna give this back to Barton.” He held up the little device that made such an ungodly noise. “I’ll meet you in the hall about 15 minutes and take you out to the barn.”

“I can probably find the barn, ya know.”

“Yeah, but Nat’s out there and you might get distracted.” He held up a hand at Bucky’s glare. “No, no. I know now and you will be given crap for the rest of your natural life.”

Bucky’s look changed to incredulousness. “You know I’m a century old, right?”

“Fine, be picky. You will be given crap for the rest of your unnatural life. Happy?”

“Better.”

“Good. Also, if you walk through the wrong door there’s a fifty-fifty chance of getting disintegrated by whatever toys Banner has in there. I’ll be back in fifteen.” He turned to leave and made it to the door before Bucky stopped him.

“Can I just ask you something real quick?”

“Yes, I did use all the hot water a short time ago.” Sam turned. The smirk that he’d had fell when he saw how serious Bucky had become.

“What’s up?”

“I attacked you, Natasha, and Steve years ago. I actively tried to kill you.”

Same raised an eyebrow. “I vaguely recall that. What’s your point?”

“I understand why Steve and Natasha helped me. We have history. They each knew me in a different time and way. You didn’t. That was the only time we’d met, but you still helped me after that. I know people trust Steve, Steve has always been that way. Honorable, trustworthy. People have told me that the main reason they helped me and are willing to accept me now is because of Steve. But I didn’t attack them. What made you help? You even tracked me for a long time. You got close, too. But I’ve been trying to reason it out and I can’t get there. You’re a soldier. You knew how dangerous I was… am. You protect innocent people. You should have taking in everything you know about what I’d been through and tried to take me out.”

“That’s what I told Steve to do.” Sam said, shaking his head. “I told him you weren’t the person he used to know and that he might have to take you out. I thought it might also be the only way to save you, too.”

“What changed?” Bucky asked.

“You remembered him.”

Bucky waited. “That’s it?”

Sam shrugged. “It meant you were still in there.” Same leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms. “I had to look at it from Cap’s point-of-view… and it was easy. We’d both lost our wingmen. We both watched our best friends get taken out and fall outta the sky, completely powerless to help. Then Cap finds out that you’re still alive? Game over. He was going to find you. If I found out that Riley was still alive, man, I’d do the same thing. Wouldn’t matter. Especially if they’d done to him what they did to you.”

“But don’t you have a family? Do they wonder where you are?” Bucky asked, remembering that this man who’d helped them didn’t have any special abilities, just a set of wings. He was far younger than them and the people he cared about, who cared for him, were still out there.

“They understand. They understand this the same way they understood when I joined the military. And I don’t regret this. What they did to you… it’s a ridiculous understatement to say that what they did to you wasn’t right, but I don’t have the words for it. When I thought of what I’d do in Steve’s place, I stopped looking at you like you were the bad guy and started looking at you as what you really were.”

“What’s that?” Bucky asked.

“A prisoner of war. So I don’t regret it.” Sam repeated again. Bucky knew that most of the time when people repeated things, they were trying to convince themselves. He also knew that Sam was absolutely certain about what he was saying. They person he was trying to convince was Bucky.

“Besides,” Sam started again in a lighter tone, smirking and pushing off from the wall. “I was right. I mean, you bug the hell outta me, but we had each other’s backs that day fighting against Stark’s team. That means something.” He started to leave the room again and turned back for a moment. “Now, kicking me off the roof that time was a dick move. I won’t stand for that again.” 

“As I recall you weren’t standing for very long at the time, either.”

“Uh huh. Payback is coming.”

“What do you want, an I’m Sorry Cake? Do you like vanilla or chocolate?”

Sam opened the door. “When people way they like vanilla, they’re lying.”

“I like vanilla.”

“See? Liar.” Sam left the room and called back, “Fifteen minutes.”


	11. Soldier?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I only own the story.

After Bruce and Wanda confirmed that Bucky’s mind was still free from the triggering words, and Sam had his fill of giving him a hard time, Bucky began to feel a little bit restless. Watching the others come and go from training and spur-of-the-moment scuffles made him want to move, also. He did not, however, want to fight anyone else yet, so Sam showed him to the makeshift gym. 

It took so much to wear him out now that he’d been there for a few hours and expected to be there a few more. Bucky didn’t ask how they’d managed to get the large pieces of equipment through the tiny door that led to the room, or indeed to the farmhouse at all, he just hit the punching bag methodically and let his mind wonder. He couldn’t believe he’d managed to end up in that farmhouse with Steve and Natasha and the others. He couldn’t believe how easy it was to think of her as Natasha instead of Natalia. He couldn’t stop waiting for the other boot to fall. Surely this was too good to remain and he wouldn’t stay free with them for long. 

“Soldier?”

Bucky jumped and turned, wondering who could have come into the room with such soft footsteps that he couldn’t hear them at all. He was greeted by the one Steve had called Vision. He also noticed that Vision wasn’t standing, he was floating. So much for hearing him coming, he thought. He still remembered the way he fought on the airstrip and a slight chill of uneasiness ran up his spine.

“I did not mean to startle you,” Vision continued. “I called to you several times, but I believe you were too consumed with your own thoughts to hear.”

Bucky continued to stare at Vision. He knew he should say something, but he wasn’t sure what that should be. Even Thor hadn’t been able to wrong-foot him so thoroughly, and Bucky was well aware that Thor was considered a god. But even he was familiar enough through stories and legend, and his friendly, boisterous personality could set anyone to ease. Vision was different… not just in looks but in demeanor. There were no stories for what he was and no common ground to find.

“I’m sorry I didn’t introduce myself yesterday when you arrived. I felt it wasn’t the time. They call me Vision.”

“That’s not your name?” Bucky finally spoke up.

“I don’t have a name, but I was born of Tony Stark’s vision for a protected world, and when he failed in his efforts to succeed in that endeavor and created Ultron, I was created with the help of Thor to counteract him. I was not born of woman, so I have no mother to name me. I am simply the result of attempts to bring life to this.” Vision raised a hand to touch the stone in his head.

“What is that?” Bucky asked.

“An Infinity Stone. “

“Okay.” Bucky didn’t know what an Infinity Stone was, but he also realized he didn’t have enough context to understand it if he asked Vision to clarify it for him.

“I make you uncomfortable.” Vision was staring at him, but with curiosity rather than any aggression. Bucky wanted to tell him he was wrong, yet sensed it was a bad idea to lie to him.

“Yes,” he said, quietly. “But only because I don’t understand what you are.”

To Bucky’s surprise, Vision smiled softly. “I am still struggling to understand myself.”

At that admission, something in Bucky relaxed. Not completely, but enough to realize that Vision might be just as confused about himself as anyone else might be.

“I am sorry I interrupted you,” Vision said. “But I wanted to apologize.”

Bucky shook his head. “For what?”

“For what happened before,” Vision replied. “I do believe that it is right that extraordinary individuals be watched. The abilities we have can often lead us to believe that it is our right to make decisions regarding dangerous situations when it often is not. Those abilities can also lead to us being the dangerous ones. However, the way they wanted to achieve it at the time, was wrong. I did not realize that they did not mean for you to stand trial. If Captain Rogers had not been present, I am sure they would have killed you. Even after you were detained, it would not have been a fair sentence. Words and logic should be used to come to an agreement; not the breaking of the law and the neglect of basic humanity.”

“How do you know I didn’t deserve to be shot on sight?”

“You were free for two years and didn’t kill a soul.”

“That you know of.”

Vision smiled again. “Not a soul.”

Bucky didn’t know how to respond to that, but another thrill of unease went through him at the absolute certainty in Vision’s voice. It was true that Bucky hadn’t hurt anyone while he’d been on the run for those two years, but there was no solid evidence for Vision to build his belief on.

“Miss Romanoff wished me to inform you that Mr. Barton has announced that lunch is nearly ready. She would like you to join them if you are able.”

Bucky felt strangely like the previous part of their conversation had not happened and Vision had only just entered the room.

“I’ll go freshen up then,” he desperately wanted to leave, all of a sudden. “See you there?” He didn’t know why he asked.

“No, I don’t eat,” Vision replied.

Bucky nodded like this should have been obvious.

“You know,” Vision continued. “If you discount Thor, who is some thousand years old, out of everyone here, you’re the oldest and I’m the youngest.”

With that, Vision floated across the room and through the outside wall, leaving the house.

“Okay,” Bucky said to the empty room, then shook his head. “Definitely weirder than the guy with the webs.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little on the short side. Sorry bout that! One more chapter to finish her out then I'll be starting the next story that follows this one!


	12. Ready to Comply

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Only the story is mine.
> 
> Also, this chapter is lots of fluff. Super fluffy.

“So basically I have to rip up the entire floor and put it in all new. I’m hoping I can salvage some of the wood, but it might just be time for a new look altogether. You can crack the eggs in this.” Clint set a bowl on the counter.

Bucky had been listening to Clint detail the flood damage that had happened in his house a couple of weeks ago and his plans to fix it. Clint insisted that it was terrible and an inconvenience, but Bucky couldn’t help but notice the excitement of a new project in him. They were standing in the kitchen, and Clint had insisted they wear aprons. Luckily, they weren’t flowery. It looked like the household he landed in preferred solid colors. Every once in a while, Clint would stop talking about the household projects and give him instructions on what to do next. He cracked the two eggs in the bowl and started whisking.

“Just whisk the eggs for a bit then add them into the rest of it. So anyway, I figure, the floors were oak but I think I wanna put down hickory instead. It’s time for a change, ya know? I found a great deal on some beautiful wood from this guy in Vermont. And the oak’s been in there for a good long while.” He picked up the sifter and started shaking all of the contents into another bowl. “Okay, you can put the eggs in with the rest and we’ll add the dry ingredients. And I think I may even rip out the carpet in the dining room and continue it on through; hickory through the entire area.”

“Didn’t you just redo the dining room, Barton?” Natosha asked coming down the hall.

“Out!” Clint yelled so loudly Bucky’s ears buzzed a little bit. “Out! Turn around and get out! This is secret.”

“Relax, I’m just getting some water,” she insisted.

“There’s a lake out back.” Clint turned her and shoved her back through the kitchen entrance and shut the door.

“What the hell, Barton?”

“No,” was Clint’s only reply. He started to take a step before turning around and opening the door again to an angry assassin with crossed arms. “And I only redid the kitchen cabinets,” he told her. He shut the door again and walked back over to the counter where Bucky still stood, silently mixing the ingredients in his bowl.

“Okay, let’s add these together so it can be ready to go in when that one comes out.”

\-----------------------------

Clint and Bucky had just set the lids down when Steve strode into the kitchen. “Guys, you’ve been in here for hours and you’ve barred everyone from coming in. What the hell is going on?” He paused for a moment. “Oh, no. Barton, please tell me you’re not planning to redo the kitchen. We can’t, okay.”

“Ha ha, you’re so funny. But I’ll have you know my work is damn good,” Clint said.

“And frequent,” Steve teased back.

“Hey, now,” Bucky joined in. “Don’t get on him about that stuff. Hickory is a great idea.”

Clint turned to Bucky with slightly wide eyes. “Thank you!” He turned to gesture to Steve and the rest of the room. “Finally a little support.” There was a joking gleam in his eyes and Bucky was smiling and Steve couldn’t help but be happy about it.

“But, really, what’s going on?”

Bucky shrugged. “We’re done now, anyway.”

Clint nodded his agreement. “Cap, mind finding everyone and telling them to come in here? That’s the only way you’ll find out.”

Steve looked at Bucky and sighed. “Seriously?”

Bucky wrinkled his brow and nodded, managing to look both like someone who was supremely concerned about the situation and like a raging smartass.

“Okay. Gimme five.”

\-------------------------------------------------

A few short minutes later all inhabitants of the farm were gathered in the kitchen. Some looked grimy and dirt covered, some were still wearing lab equipment and all were looking expectantly at Bucky and Clint. Bucky started to speak but Clint beat him to it.

“Several hours ago, Mr. Barnes approached me with a problem. He asked for my assistance and, after he explained more thoroughly, I obliged. I did so because I believe his intentions to be honorable. I also feel a kinship with Mr. Barnes for reasons I will not go into at the moment.”

“You were both brainwashed by crazy people?” Bruce asked.

“I told you,” Thor sighed. “My brother isn’t crazy.”

“Fine,” Natasha huffed, rolling her eyes. “They were both brainwashed, one by an evil group of Nazi affiliation and one by your completely grounded and well-meaning brother. But to be fair you call him ‘beyond reason’ occasionally and that is just a nice, demure way of acknowledging that he’s occasionally batshit.”

Thor crossed his arms and looked away. “I shall abstain from returning comment.”

“Guys,” Clint continued. “This is a serious moment.”

“Baking is serious?” Wanda asked.

“Baking?” Clint asked back at her. “Who said baking?”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “They can smell it, you doof.” 

“Yeah,” Natasha confirmed. “I smell spice cake.” 

Bucky threw up his hands. “Look, I did ask for his help. Basically, I wanted to thank you all for agreeing to let me be here but there are three people in particular that I wanted to extend more specific apologies to and Clint helped me do this.” With that, he and Clint lifted the lids on the table behind them. On the table were three cakes—one with white icing, one with beige icing, and one with chocolate icing. 

Natasha let out a small, appreciative sound and turned to Bucky. “You remembered about spice cake?”

Most of the people in the room turned to look at Bucky for his answer. Everyone except Sam and Steve who’d moved closer to the table and were staring quizzically at the cakes.

“Um, yeah,” Bucky replied. “I remembered.”

“Yeah,” Clint said, turning to her. “What is this about spice cake? You’ve never talked about spice cake.”

Thor raised an eyebrow at Clint. “What happened in Budapest, Clint?” he asked, pointedly.

“Uh, guys,” Bruce said, holding back a laugh. “Look closer at the cakes.”

Bucky and Clint both smirked as everyone moved in to look.

Steve spoke first, reading the message on the white cake. “Sorry I shot you while we were in a falling aircraft.”

Natasha spoke next. “Sorry I shot you through my mark.”

“Sorry I ripped off your wing and kicked you off a roof,” Sam finished, reading the message on the chocolate cake.

Bucky smirked and turned his attention to Sam. “Are you happy now?”

Sam raised his eyebrows and accepted a plate from Clint. “Dunno. Is it poisoned?”

“Well, I didn’t have my eye on Barton for the entire process so that entirely depends on how well you two get along.”

Sam looked down at the piece of cake Steve was placing on his plate. “Vanilla? Really?”

“What?”

“This pastry is quite delicious,” Thor insisted. “The three of you must forgive him.”

“Yeah,” Sam agreed. “I don’t know how much of a hand you had in it but this cake is very good.”

“I walked him through it mostly,” Clint said. “Actually he needed an idea and was gonna go with, like, cleaning weapons or something, but then he mentioned what he’d said to you,” he motioned to Sam, “and I knew we had to do that.”

“Just your luck you found the one person here who bakes,” Natasha smiled at Bucky. 

“Spice cake?” Clint asked again. 

Natasha smiled in the way she generally saved for throwing off a target. “Maybe I’ll tell you in a few years.” 

“So,” Steve glanced at Bucky quickly then back down at his plate again. “Does that mean you’re accepting the offer to join up?”

“Course he is,” Wanda answered for him. “You don’t bake I’m Sorry cakes for people you’re going to leave. Thank You cakes, maybe, but not I’m sorry cakes.”

“That seems logical, even to me.” Vision spoke up for the first time.

“Yeah,” Bucky finally said, taking a deep breath. “If you’re all sure about it.”

“We wouldn’t have offered if we weren’t,” Bruce assured him.

“Yeah,” Sam smiled. “Plus, you’re in Barton’s debt now. That means the next time he rebuilds something, he’ll recruit you first.”

Bucky smiled and glanced at Clint. “Yeah, I’ve already been given the rundown on how heavy hickory is.”

“Bozhe moi,” Natasha said under her breath.

Bucky huffed out a laugh and quickly looked around at the people standing in the kitchen who’d broken off into smaller conversations. He still felt out of place, like he didn’t belong there. He felt memories pressing in at the edge of his mind, trying to break through. He felt the headache that came along with the memories. He also felt the honesty of the offer to try to make a home with this group. They spent time apart, fought like hell, and spent most of their time together in danger, but they were obviously, and inexplicably, a family. He knew that if he was going to find a place to fit in anywhere, it would be with this odd grouping. Romania had worked for the years he’d been there, but he’d had no one that knew just who and what he was. It had been nice to have people think he was just a regular man, but it was a lie. As silly as Clint’s insistence of baking the cakes had been, Bucky had to acknowledge that it had been the right move. Even if he had been roped into helping him put in new flooring. He found himself looking forward to it, oddly enough. A normal activity with a completely abnormal person.

“You should start training with us tomorrow morning,” Natasha said to him, turning away from Bruce. “We’re outta here in ten days. Might as well get a headstart.”

“You want revenge?” Bucky asked, teasing lightly. 

She shrugged. “The team that beats the hell out of each other together, stays together.”

“That’s not quite the way it goes, Romanoff,” Steve called from the other side of the room. “But you should join us.”

“Yes!” Thor agreed. “I get to fight you first. I’m the only one here who’s not fought you or seen you fight first hand. I must put you to the test.”

“No hammer?” Bucky bargained.

“No chance.” Thor replied. “It’s not like you’ll take off your arm.”

Vision turned toward Thor. “But you also are incredibly strong, not to mention heartier than even Mr. Barnes. Would that not be a fair fight?”

“Yeah,” Sam agreed. “Plus, once Mr. Robotnik has been fighting for a few minutes, he starts to lag. Goes a little wonky. Not nearly as good as you think.”

“Thanks,” Bucky replied sarcastically. “But at least I’m not defeated by a kick off a roof.”

“No, but that arm of yours doesn’t stand a chance against a little webbing.”

Bucky supposed it shouldn’t be a surprise that a discussion on battle tactics and mishaps could last so long into the night.

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be starting the sequel soon to this story soon. It will be more of a mission-centric Avengers-working-together-to-defeat-a-villain story. I already know most of what will happen in it, I even know who the big bad will be. 
> 
> I will, however, be starting back to uni so it will be a little bit longer of a wait between updates (unless I get in the mood to avoid reading about psychological disorders, criminal delinquents, Victorian courtrooms, and Austen heroines... basically, hw avoidance will drive that story). The compromise will be that I will be making those chapters much longer than the ones in this story.
> 
> Until then, thank you for reading this story! I hope you've enjoyed it!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this story! I hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are appreciated.


End file.
